Reflective Leadership: Unlocking the Real Leader in You
In a recent conversation, I asked a new client, “What kind of leader do you want to be?” The client’s response was as shocking to me as the question was to her. “Well, I don’t actually know. I’m not sure I’ve given it much thought.”, she said. As I reflected on the honesty expressed in this client’s answer, I thought about the numerous leaders I have worked with when suddenly it struck me; leadership is something most simply “fall into” vs intentionally choosing. To me it seems like since much of how we live life is just what we’re used to or simply what we “fall into”, then leadership must follow the same order, the same process. So then, like our life, much of how we behave as leaders, our style, and how we interact with those we lead, must also be just what we’re used to, what we’ve always done, rather than a result of informed and intentional choice.
Without the informed and intentional choice of what I want my leadership to look like, the benefit of reflection cannot be attained, and leadership, like life, becomes a matter of chance. Without informed and intentional choice, I am nothing more than a robot whose behavior is a result of well-worn brain pathways wired into making me rely solely on habit. If much of how we live life and lead is just what we’re used to, something we “fall into”, then in addition to losing the benefit of choice, we also lose the benefit of thorough and thoughtful reflection. It is not until the leadership autopilot is turned off, that we can begin to see the value of thoughtful reflection. Only then can the true benefits of thoughtful reflection be realized, and our leadership becomes the result of investigation, curiosity, and the fullest exploration of possibilities.
By incorporating this powerful work of thorough and thoughtful reflection, demonstrated through investigation and curiosity, we can harness what can be the most effective and truest version of who we want to be as leaders and what we want our leadership to look like to others. In the space where awareness, investigation, curiosity, reflection, and consideration, lead to intentional and thoughtful choice we can choose what is most effective for us as leaders. Implementing investigative curiosity and reflection creates an endless variety of possibilities allowing the leader in us to emerge. It is in this place, that leaders become not only who we want to be but also what we want life to look like and what values we want reflected in leadership and life. In this regard, investigation and reflection lead us to heightened insights and enable us to begin answering these deeper questions:
What leader behaviors work best for me?
How do I bring those to life each day?
In what ways do I need to grow and change?
By adopting this thoughtful, reflective process, we depart from a place of waiting for life, and others, and for work to shape us into the leaders and into the people we want to be. By departing from this place of waiting, to owning and changing and choosing who I want to be as a leader, we make that today’s work, and rather than missing out on today’s opportunities, I can seize the moment and choose to be the leader I want to be. I no longer lose the moment’s investigative curiosity and I no longer miss countless opportunities to be thoughtful about my leadership. Today’s leaders must be willing to do thoughtful and reflective work to honestly and completely answer the original question, “What kind of leader do you want to be?”